Broken Strings..

Let me hold you
For the last time
It’s the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can’t feel anything

When I love you
It’s so untrue
I can’t even convince myself
When I’m speaking
It’s the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all okay

You can’t play on broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
A lies worse
How can i give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there’s nothing left to save
It’s like chasing the very last train
When it’s too late

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all okay

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
A lies worse
How can i give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

But we’re running through the fire
When there’s nothing left to say
It’s like chasing the very last train
When we both know it’s too late

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
A lies worse
How can i give anymore
When I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It’s the last change to feel again

Sometimes It simply hurts...

have u ever feel like ur being used ..?
not in a way like ur being manipulated or so..
but in a way that someone is only close to u when they need something..
or they feel alone or mayb just need an advice..
but once the prob is gone and they can roam free..
snap, just like dat they turn around and just walk away..
leaving u hanging and speechless..

and yes..
SOMETIMES IT SIMPLY HURTS..
knowing that uve been for that person by any means..
through thick and thin..
then later the person can just say they x even know what u mean to them anymore..
argh...
or the feeling u get when ur in need of that person at that time..
but they just dont want to coz their free now..
they just wanna enjoy what they have..
not remembering how they got there..
who they went to for advice and all shit..
and next thing u know..
they will come back crawling when they need u..
yea.. mayb im stupid coz i let them do so..
well it SUCKS!!!

“Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but Jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time”

someone asked me if ur not jealous of your partner does that means you dont love them..
well i bet most of the people think the same..
but to me it actually depends on the individual itself..
and to me, yea a strong relationship needs no jealousy..

actually people are confuse between jealousy and envy..
jealousy is angry,jealousy is destructive..
envy is wistful, envy rarely is destructive..
or easier jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy is about something one does not have and either wants to acquire it or prevent another from getting it..

to be frank im the envy type of person..
but the diff with me is i dont voice it out..
i'll just keep it in myself and just keep wondering..
well maybe that also isnt a good thing..
but that is how im build..

i had a chat recently with my friend who says that her bf is not the jealous type..
she showed me pic of her hugging other guys..
and i mean literally hugging..
like hands around waste type like in the titanic film..
and here is the best part, her bf is standing there or he was taking the pic cant remember it..
the point is that he wasnt bloody jealous that another guy hugs her girl..
she says that her bf trust her..
but i think if like ur bf/gf trust u pon they don like let other people just hug u like dat..
sorry to say, but i dont think thats trust..
more like don care one..
ahaha..

to me trust is like it doesnt matter that your partner whom ur partner goes out with..
till when they go out with and all the other details are not actually important..
as long as he/she tells u bout it..
jealousy is actually insecurity huh..
true2..

Specially for MTOff

I want to say im sorry for maybe still caught up in the past..
To MTOff im sorry i reacted the way i have when u told me bout a part of ur past..
history are supposed to be a lesson for us..
but that doesnt mean that we cant accept people with bad history..
if they are willing to change, we should give them our utmost support..
we are humans..
its in our blood to make mistakes..
but we also should have the initiative to forgive and help the person if they want to change..
coz lets face it nobody is perfect..
erm.. actually you will know why i dont like ur past characteristic if it wasnt for the trip..
yea i know. i mentioned about it again..
sorry.. =)
anyway.. i just wanna say im sorry again and that you have my full support..
cya girl..

"Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you but trusting them not to!"

trust..
as we know this is the foundation, the glue, the force that keeps relation together..
no matter what kind of relation..
husband wife, lovers, parent child, pet & owner..
and as we all know building trust in a relationship takes hard work and commitment..
i think trust not only requires that you listen to each other and communicate your needs..
but trust requires honesty above all else..

the problem with trust in a relationship is that, it is always taken for granted..
they dont cherish, be grateful and respect the trust that was given to them..
people toy around trust like it means nothing..
they abuse it..
and when this happen, well for me, it just the end..

Whether or not trust can ever be restored depends on how badly it was damaged..
it also depends on the individual itself..
how much the spurned person feels betrayed..
and how they look at the term trust themselves..
for example me..
i'll give the person like several chance to gain back my trust..
if they like screw up 3 major times..
then bye2..
but if you’ve had your trust betrayed then you know how hard it can be to let go..
move on and fix the relationship..

i think to build trust in a realtionship is a 2 way thing..
u cant xpect only the other party to strive for it..
u urself have to contribute to it..
u must be truthful to ur self and ur lover..
it means u have to be fair by trusting ur lover as well..
maybe some boundaries should be set..
but some people just cant xcept dz can they.. hehe
sorry MTOff..
hehe..
and most importantly believe in urself..

Once you’ve built trust..
you’ve done something magical..
and you should do everything in your power to keep it if..
that if you plan on maintaining your relationship la..

what is this thing call love, crush, like, adore, and all the words that relate to it..?
is it just a thought, a feeling? or is it more than just that..?
what drive some of us to feel the need of it..?
and yea, why do some of us can just go along this life without that special someone.
i mean i know some people who are like 80 something years old and still single..
how izit that they can be like that and get through life..?

this thought or feeling is such a mystery to me..
i mean ive been searching for the answers for a long time..
people have called me a player and all..
but is it really my fault if like im not with only one girl in my life..
and fyi i have only asked for a break up once je in my life..

back to the real thing..
is it really my fault if you think that the person ur with is not suitable for u..
i mean things could change..
when at first you think dat she's the one..
but somewhere along the journey things changed..
their true color are being shown..
and u think for u guys to not be together is better..
isnt it better to end it than just try to go along with it and in the end u'll just regret it..
after u tried ur best to change it la..

some people say u have to be patient for the other party to change..
but u know that every human beings have their limits..
how long can u endure such pain..
the feeling of heart breaking then being crushed into dust fragments, felt over and over, day after day, night after night..
seriously how long can u endure it..
all of us have need, desire..

you know i envy couplles like my grandparents..
whom their relation is for real till death do them apart..
they understand each other, tolerate each other..
hmm..
and another type of couple dat i envy is the type where their marriage is not whom they chose..
but a planned marriage..
but somehow they manage to overcome it and just be happy with each other..
sigh..

hye.. im sorry i didnt update my blog..
yea theres few darn good reasons for it..
anyway..
im getting tensed by the minute..
fam members have been in and out if the hospital
it started with grandma 5-6weeks ago when she had a heart attack..
im also extra worried bout her as she has the Parkinson disease.

while shes in the hospital, my grandfather was also emitted to the hospital for an asthma attack.
my mom had to take care of both of them at the same tyme alone as she is a single mother..
coz my bro has school n packed with his krs thinggy n sis is in uia..

then just as my grandparents got better, my sis was then emitted to the hospital
at first the dr said it was dengue, but after checking it out, it was after all.
then they said it was lung infection after all..
of coz i got even worried ryte.
she's still in the hsptl. she can only go bck home tomorrow hopefully

i think because of the chaos that happened recently.. my mom got ill
she had high fever but still had to take care of my sis..
i think i also got the fever from that huh..
hehe
but please don tell my mom as i x want her to be worried bout me as well..

in the mist of all dz.. i fell like im standing alone with no support..
as yana and i are on thin ice...
kin and alep are bz n just got out of a bad relationship
jue is like pushing me away..

but as u all knw.. ive been standing alone on my own since i wuz a kid
so x worry yea.. especially u kin..
haha. sumhow ill make it through da day..
=)

p/s be thankful with whatever u have.. coz in this world, many of the things dont last forever.. cherish every single minute of ur life with the person u love n care *hugs* hehe..

the old blog...

Yes as u notice, all of my previous blog has been deleted..
im not sure why i did it but i think its time to start things from the beginning..
i am sorry for any inconvenience cause by my action..
tq